Welcome bloggers...this is the beginning of my personal revolution. I used to be shy and timid, but I'm slowly coming into myself as I get older. At 27, I'm becoming more and more liberated than I have ever been.
Honestly, I was inspired to do a blog by just dealing with everyday life and wanting to put my opinion out there. There are so any different things that I wanted to put my two cents in on, that now I have the opprotunity. I guess for my first topic, I will discuss something that has been on my mind ever since I had this conversation with a group of friends.
What exactly classifies "whoredom" (as my brother calls it)? If you are a 25 year old woman, no husband or boyfriend, and you keep it safe and secure, what's so wrong with enjoying a few different sexual partners? I'm not talking 3 or 4 in the same day or anything like that, but I'm talking you have a friend that you are insanely sexually attracted to and you allow it to go down. A few days later, you share a sexual experience with another gentleman. Does that make you are ho? I don't think so. I think that women who are comfortable with their sexuality can make those moves and still be considered ladies, just ladies who know what the hell they want. I have a friend who thinks that my philosophy is "too" liberated. I'm just becoming comfortable in my own skin. I'm beginning to feel myself just a lil bit :). I have a few men that are attracted to me and I'm not sleeping with all of them. However, there are a couple that I am insanely attracted to, but I find myself justifying my actions to my friends. Needless to say, I haven't acted on my desires because I don't want to hear the judgemental convesation that comes afterwards. I know she will ask, and I will tell her the truth. After that she will never let me live it down. See, I was in a relationship for quite a long time, almost 7 years. We talked marriage, but he just isn't ready. We have a son together and I am very respectful of him. I would never let my son see these different men that I spend time with unless one of them becomes very serious in my life. Is there something wrong with me making time for them or does that really constitute me being slutty?
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It means you're being a woman, and there isn't anything wrong with that...liberate your mind and the rest will follow.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you're not being dishonest with any of the men. If the man that you are really into asks you if the relationship is exclusive between the two of you and you say 'yes', that is not cool. But if all the dudes are cool with it, who cares what anybody else thinks. It should be between all the parties involved.
ReplyDeleteIf one of your 'girls' is going to think you is a 'ho', don't tell her what is going on.
But like I said, because this has happened to me on more then one occasion, don't lie to the dudes. I've had 'um tell me we was exclusive, and I had plenty of opportunity to 'branch out' but didn't because I was keeping to the agreement of the relationship. Only to find out that they was out screwing every dude that would have them.
That is uncool!
If I could go back about 10 years, one thing for sure is that I'd date more than one guy at a time, like men date more than one woman at a time. I just couldn't bring myself to do it back then though. What's worth noting however is that every guy I dated, even though they probably had other chicks, needed to know that they were the only guy that I was dating. My naivety let me believe that this meant they really cared for me and wanted a future with me. NOooooT!
ReplyDeleteAs I matured, I learned that men get off on seeing how much they can control women. I also learned however that it is vitally important for me to make my health a top priority. I do understand your liberal point of view when it comes to having lovers, and even though I use condoms, I look at each sexual encounter as me momentarily putting my life in my partner's hands. Condoms are not magic. You can still contract herpes, the wart virus (human pappiloma (sp?) virus), and probably some other things. When I look back on my list of lovers, I just have to shake my head because I never thought I'd have so many. But, if ever I contracted an STD, I would be able to say precisely who it came from.
I agree with RealHustla on dating more than one. I wasn't the tied to one person type back in the day, but if I had to redo it, I'd handle things a little different. As always, there's the double standard when it comes to women, but bump it as long as you're taking care of your health and safety.
ReplyDeleteI, over everything, think that it is your business. And no, I don't think that its slutty. I'm just glad that you have gotten comfortable in your own skin.
ReplyDelete